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TAKING ACTION

3 Questions to Ask Yourself to Get Out of a Rut

22 March 2016

“Good intentions never change anything. They only become a deeper and deeper rut.” ~ Joyce Meyer

Are you bored to death with your daily routine? Do you sometimes wish to do something, anything different with your days?

In today’s article we will talk about the real reasons behind how you spend your time, what are the questions you need to ask yourself in order to start doing things that will fulfill you rather than just simply pass time. In layman’s terms, we’ll get you out your rut.

Let’s face it, we have all been in a rut of some kind. We see the same friends every week, go to the same bar, eat the same meals, and buy the same fresh produce week in week out. Even though you are completely and utterly bored out of your mind and want a different way of life so badly you still choose to spend your time on the same things that do not matter, do not enrich you in anyway and just like on Groundhog’s Day you rinse and repeat the same routine day after day. You, my friend, are in a rut.

The good news is you are not alone, ask your colleagues, friends, family what they’ve been up to recently and they will tell you the usual story of nothing much, too broke to do anything or too busy to do anything other than work. Chances are they will also tell you that they know they should do something else other than the routine stuff but they don’t. They will tell you that they can do it if they really try but they don’t. And they have no idea why they are bored, unchallenged and unfulfilled.

Many of these miserable people go through life each day dragged through the routines of life; they work, eat, talk, attend meetings and when they have any spare time at all, they choose to spend their time, energy and often money on things that mean nothing to them.

Worn out

 

Worn out and still unfulfilled?

When you were young, I am sure you found it easy to just say you don’t like to do something because it bores you and if you were not satisfied, you would find creative ways to do what you thought was fulfilling. As you get older however, it becomes easier and easier to ignore the tough questions like what is truly satisfying to you and what the purpose behind doing something truly is. It becomes easier to stop asking yourself “Why am I doing this? What does it do for me?”

Many people also mistake not being productive and not going anywhere new as being in a rut. Being in a rut simply means that you are no longer doing things that satisfies you in any way physically, mentally and emotionally. Remember, we need novelty, connection and challenge to grow as people and when you stop getting those things from your usual activities then it is time to change it up and sometimes all it takes is doing something else other than what you are doing now.

I am sure you are familiar with the feeling of being tired but not fulfilled at the end of the day after work and then thought to yourself that a trip to the bar, shopping centre, a patisserie or even a fast food joint would cheer you up no end. Then you get whatever it is that you get and you find yourself feeling even more bored, drained and sometimes guilty for indulging again. More often than not, many of these meaningless activities cost you time, effort, money and sometimes health.

Why do you do things that seem to bring you more misery than joy?

We need to be fulfilled emotionally, mentally and physically in order to feel satisfied. Many of the things we choose to pass our time with meet those needs initially but these feelings of fulfillment gets more diluted as time goes and soon it ceases to satisfy us in any way. You see this in addicts, the first time they try drugs, smoke a cigarette or buy something expensive brings them such a rush but to their disappointment subsequent hits stop feeling so good and they find themselves needing a bigger hit.

A lot of these activities also stems from our need to feel connected with people. Surely you can remember the many pointless weekends you spent being hammered at bars and clubs in your late teens or early twenties? That fulfills the need to socialise, to connect with people physically (getting laid to you and me) and fulfills our need to be admired when we look hot.

Many things that we found fulfilling before no longer satisfies when we get older, that’s why you might finally understand the joy of enjoying a beer or two over lunch at the weekend as opposed to eardrum bursting music at the clubs on Friday. Essentially we all know that we have the choice to do different things and change up our routine but change is difficult for most of us because it requires that we think about what we need to do in order to get what we want and most of us just cannot be bothered about the time and work required to get these answered. It is easier just to stay in our comfortable little box till the next time we feel enough pain to try something new and shortly after the high of doing something different we slip right back into our comfortable, habitual routine and end up back in the same rut.

Get yourself out of a rut

 

So how do we get out of our rut?

First things first, you need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself these questions:

  1. What are the activities that no longer fulfils me?
    – For many it will be things like binge-eating or eating unhealthy foods too often, drinking too much and too often, shopping or spending money too much and too often or even going out socialising at any given chance even when you have other things to do. Don’t confuse this with addiction although this may lead you onto the path of addictions if you do not resolve this early enough.
  2. Why do I do these things?
    – This is the key to figuring out how to change your behaviour because this is the core reason and once you find the root, you can replace this activity with something else that fulfils this need. How does doing x activity make you feel? What need does it fufil for you? Other than boredom, are there any other reasons such as loneliness or unhappiness with what’s going on with the other parts of your life?
  3. What other things can I do that will give me the satisfaction I am looking for?
    – This is about replacing the activities that are meaningless to you with activities that will provide you the fulfilment and enrich you in other ways. For example, if you shop way too often to stave off boredom and loneliness you might find that meeting with friends perhaps for a chat over coffee or dinner may do a better job of fulfilling the need than spending hundreds of dollars on a dress or a gadget you will never wear or use.

In Conclusion:

Life is not always about doing the latest things or being productive all the time which is what modern living has conditioned us to strive for. We need to be fulfilled emotionally, physically and mentally in order to thrive so this is not about stopping a not so great activity and doing nothing else in its place because we just don’t work like that. The problem I think is that too many of us do not even question what fulfils and what does not and instead choose to believe that life should just go on as they are and we should be content with what we’ve got and nothing more. That is not living a life people! You need to be more than “just ok”. You deserve more fulfilment wherever you can get.

Think about the things you are doing now and determine for yourself whether they do you any good at all or do they make you even more miserable. When you get stuck just think about the 3 simple questions above and I am sure you will be able to achieve more fulfilment from your life in no time at all.

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How To Create The Life You Want | Suzanne Mason

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